The human brain is marvelous AND it believes what we tell it. So what if we started telling our brain we can, we are enough, we will? We can choose to give our brain clear, concrete, correct information everyday to help us achieve what our hearts really long for. 

Our brain’s primary job is to keep us safe and for the vast, vast majority of humanity that meant following familiar routines, expecting scary situations, and focusing on staying safe. The ability for our brains to not live in survival mode is quite recent in the scheme of 2 million years of humans (300,000 years if we are only counting homo sapiens).

Sharing information outside of immediate known contacts only became truly possible when the printing press was invented 573 years ago, which sounds like a long time ago, but our brains had at least 299,000 years without extensively shared knowledge. It was only 98 years ago that electricity began to be increasingly common in homes (reducing fire risks and increasing safety). Antibiotics have only been available for 82 years! 

It took humanity over 296,000 years to develop the first wheel. And while we like to think of ourselves as very advanced, elegant, and refined, we are still living in brain infanthood. Our brains still have much evolution left when we consider the scope of how it was only very recently that our brains could stop focusing on constant survival. 

Is this a history and science lesson or a parenting blog? What does all of this have to do with being the parent I want to be? This information is relevant to parenting because we have to still tell our brain what to believe. We have to still tell our brain it is safe. We have to still tell our brain to do new things even though it is scary or hard.

Our brains like the familiar. It is safe and comforting. With hundreds of thousands of years of evidence that we are safe with the familiar, it can be a big lift to tell our brain we are doing something differently this time. However, neuroscience supports the effects of clear communication to our brain because our brain believes us when we talk to it. 

Elite athletes visualize themselves achieving success in their sport because it works. When a person visualizes themselves performing a physical action it stimulates the same regions of the brain that are activated when the action is actually being done. Yes, you read that correctly…the brain responds to deeply thinking about something in the same way it responds to actually achieving something. 

So what if as parents we started telling ourselves true stories instead of punishing ones?

“I yelled at my kids again!” can become “I yelled AND I repaired AND I will do better next time.”

“I was a lousy parent today” can become “I did my best today AND my best is enough.”

“I am a terrible parent” can become “I am a good parent. I AM enough.”

This is not positive thinking. This is providing clear, concrete, detailed, true communication to your brain because YOU ARE ENOUGH. Being a peaceful parent IS within your abilities. Talking to our brain is very familiar for most of us. How often do we criticize ourselves as we lay in bed reviewing the day’s events and counting our mistakes? 

Let’s change that familiar routine by providing new unfamiliar content! Instead of reviewing the mistakes, let’s review the celebrations. Instead of criticizing ourselves, let’s encourage ourselves. This is science my dear fellow parents! This is do-able. 

Did you know you can write with a dry erase marker on your mirror and it will erase? Write a message to yourself today! Maybe it is:

• Make the familiar unfamiliar. 
• Make the unfamiliar familiar. 
• I am enough. 
• I am doing my best and my best is enough.
• I AM a good parent. 

And then start telling yourself that everyday. Many times a day. Say it out loud. Say it silently. Read it. Write it. Put that new unfamiliar content into your brain to start giving your brain truth to believe and know. And when you forget? That is okay, just start again! You can do this. 

Say it out loud right now: I AM ENOUGH.

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If you long to create more harmony, peace, and joy in your home and with your children, please book a FREE Discovery Call so we can talk about your parenting hopes and challenges to see if Parent Coaching with Kristi is a good fit for you. If it is not a good fit, I may have a colleague or other resources I can refer you to.