I told my husband and my sister, “I am not sure if I should be a coach. I am, kind of, a lot. I am loud and excitable and just maybe, much.” I received such different feedback from these two beloveds and each perspective has solidified why I need to be here, claiming this space. 

My husband told me, “I think you are letting your fear tell you you can’t do this.” Ooof, this man has always known me to the deepest parts of my inner being, sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. I am not sure we had this type of language in the past, however our family culture has and is really shifting in how we use language around our feelings, thoughts, and needs. His response was so simple, so brief, and so profound for me. 

I replied, “Hmm, I think I might be indeed.” So I stepped back to reflect, to dig deeper into my mind and heart. Fear can be a powerful motivator for us, which is good, right? Fear keeps us safe, it stops us from jumping off cliffs (most of the time – somewhere there are pictures of me jumping off cliffs into the Mediterranean Sea when I was 23) and it fuels our body when we need to run from tigers. Fear can also stop us from reaching for the stars or even from bending down to pick dandelions*. Fear can serve a purpose, but not always and it is important that we work towards discernment to determine when fear is motivating us and when it is hindering us. 

After some reflection thinking about how this has been my dream for years: to empower parents to be the best parents they can be. I accepted that I do have many and am continuing to learn many skills to coach parents (and myself!) in the journey of parenthood. If I truly believe that parent centric education and coaching is the key to peaceful parenting (I do!) and if I truly believe peaceful parenting is a key part to creating a kinder and safer world (I do!), then I have to act on those beliefs and help these skills, tools, knowledge and strategies get into other family’s homes. 

One of our family values is remembering that two things can be true at the same time. 

I am still scared AND my fear is not going to stop me because I know it is not here to keep me safe this time. It is here to keep my status quo, my comfort zone intact. Instead of kicking off my shoes and staying comfortable, I am making my goal more important than my comfort. (My shoes might still be on, but obviously yoga pants and a bun are still happening!)

My sister reminded me too that two things can be true, by offering me a very different response that inspired me. My husband’s response led me to study and reflect, her response fueled my heart and passion. I needed both to keep moving forward. 

She wrote to me, “If you were playing football, what kind of coach would you want?  A monotone coach who quietly gave you a thumbs up when you scored or one who cheered you from the sidelines? You are enthusiastic and inspiring. People will catch on to that and feed off of that.  You are passionate about what you do. Showing up to client sessions without those attributes just doesn’t seem like what this is about. You are teaching that parenting is exciting and rewarding. Some parents will show up completely drained and ready to give up, but you will breathe life back into their parenting and model that they can be a parent with energy.  Plus if a session is anything like the meetings you run, you pack so much in it will be like 2 for 1 sessions. And to clarify you pack a lot in but it is all articulate and you have the ability to slow down when needed. So: the perfect personality.”

Then she told me, “Please don’t ever try to not be you.” Ooof! How inspirational is that? For you and me. 

And so I am doing this. I am going to show up with my enthusiasm, my passion, my compassion, my love, and my gratitude to share in the journey with other mamas and caregivers who want to feel the deepest connection and peace with their children. 

*Only pick dandelions a little bit, they are really good bee food, leave the rest for the kiddies and the bees.