Today I have been in a great deal of pain because I have a scratched cornea from dry eyes and blocked tear ducts. After literally eight hours of tears streaming down my right cheek (don’t ask me how I have this many tears with dry eyes and blocked tear ducts, but here we are), I was feeling pretty done with all of it.

I have had vision and eye challenges my whole life so anytime my eyes are involved in drama I tend to be a little stressed. I suddenly said, “I have to sit down,” then as my husband helped me to a chair, I said, “I am starting to feel a little panicky.” I was so humbled as my daughter’s swung into swift and stunning action. 

My youngest came running into the kitchen, grabbed my hands, put them up to my chest and said, “You are safe Mama.” Then she stood next to me with her hands on her heart slowly saying, “I am safe, I am safe.” THIS is my strategy, y’all! This is what I do when I am dysregulated and this is what I have taught her. When I was so deeply stuck in my downstairs brain she came to my rescue, bringing me back to safety with exactly what I needed. I was unable to say the words aloud or silently and she knew to say them for me so all I had to do was listen and breathe. 

My oldest was quickly behind her sister and went right to my upstairs brain, using the language we practice everyday. “Mama I know you feel scared, your whole life you have struggled with your vision and even after your surgeries, I know you feel scared when something like this happens.” She nailed my feelings and my fears and gave them names and words. 

Being the recipient of this CARE, LOVE, SAFETY, and PEACE was wholly comforting. I was able to get regulated so quickly and most importantly I felt loved, cared for, safe, seen. I practice peaceful parenting so my children feel these things. I never expected to know to the depths of my soul how it felt to get that kind of care from my children. 

If I was not already one hundred percent sold on the power of peaceful parenting this would do it for me. Knowing now, really knowing how it feels to have someone co-regulate you, to connect with you, and to love you in your intense feelings is a gift that is immeasurable. 

And the joy in being the recipient is life sustaining.