Coaching and empowering parents to help their children grow their communication skills is a marvel. Becoming part of a family’s journey for a few months or a year is an honor not gifted to many. I treasure the relationships I build with each family I work alongside as a speech language pathologist. 

Becoming a student in a Parent Coaching Certification program to learn how to support families on their journey to the practice of peaceful parenting was an easy yes. However, if we are being honest (and we are always honest at Planting Rainbows) it was a commitment that our whole family had to agree to, knowing the time and financial investment I would need to expand my skill set and knowledge would take resources from other parts of our family and life.

The final hurdle was being willing to invest in an education that might not lead to a successful business venture. So what pushed me to take the leap? I knew that even if I never had a single client as a peaceful parenting coach, my children and I would reap untold benefits from the skills, knowledge, and strategies I would learn. 

If you had asked me the morning before my first class to describe my parenting approach, I would have rattled off a list of statements like:

• I am a pretty good mom, I make mistakes, but my kids and I have a good relationship.
• But, dang, parenting is a hard business.
• My kids know their feelings are valid and come to me with a lot of feelings and trust.
• But, phew, I feel stressed a lot and while I am not a yeller, I do yell a few times a week (several times a week sometimes) even though it is not how I want to behave.
• Love abounds in our home and I am lucky, my kids are really nice kids.
• Even if they do drive me bonkers all.the.time.
• I am a decent mom.
• But I could be annoyed less often I think.
• I am grateful for my kids and when I see them using the strategies we have taught them, like talking through their emotions and feelings or problem solving together instead of fighting I feel like a really good mom. I love how well they get along and how skilled they are at taking care of each other’s hearts.
• I often feel really overwhelmed by parenting and even though I am usually fairly calm and level headed on the outside (not always, but more often than not), on the inside I am jagged and rattled.
• I love my kids and my kids love me.
• Things are good, but they could be better.

And now, after having only completed seven weeks of my training so far, I can say with absolute certainty I love being a mom. Parenting is still a hard gig, the hardest one I have ever had, but dang if I don’t love it more than I ever did before. 

Now if you asked me to describe my parenting approach it would sound like this:

• I know how to regulate my nervous system now and I understand the brain science and nervous system science behind my reactions so I can pause and respond instead of reacting.
• I know how to listen intently to my children and it feels so good. It doesn’t feel like I am constantly being interrupted anymore (most of the time anyway).
• I am in tune with my body and what emotions I am experiencing and what feelings I am feeling and I know so much more about the why of those emotions and feelings.
• I used to be a Power Over Parent and inadvertently used my role as parent to be the one holding the power, now I am a Power With Parent and recognize and honor my kids equality in our relationship.
• Ooooh, our home is so much more peaceful. AND I am peaceful, even when it starts to get loud (one of my triggers, even when it is a happy loud) I can stay calm and regulated.
• I can lend my calm to my kids when they are dysregulated. 
• I have strategies that I can latch onto and use in the moment because I practice them then, but also when I don’t need them so they are becoming easier and easier to use.
• My kids are starting to use some of the strategies I am learning because I use them out loud and get to model them while benefiting from them.
• I still mess up, I still make mistakes, I am imperfect and always will be, but I have yelled at my kids, only one time in one single sentence in the past seven weeks. For real! 
• My kids are using emotional intelligence more and more and really getting to the root of their emotions and feelings because they hear and see me doing the same.
• I see my kids, they feel safe, soothed, and secure.
• My kids know which mama they are going to get each day now, they don’t have to guess if or how I will react, they know they are going to get the one who shows up in love, leadership, and empathy (most of the time). 
• My role as a parent brings me joy.
• Oh my, parenting is still not for the faint of heart, there are days I use every single strategy endlessly, but it is really good now. It is really good. 

And so even if I really never do get to bring this treasure to new families or clients, it is okay. I HOPE to be a Parent Coach (maybe for YOU!) because the benefits of this learning and these strategies are so powerful, I know we can heal the world if we can share it with enough families.